Combat Poetry

So, over the past few days, I’ve been in a war of words that I now dub combat poetry. Yes, one of my good friends posted status on facebook… I responded with a mediocre attempt at irony and thought little of it… little did I know how it would develop.

Enjoy (but it may not be over?):

DJ Cronrath enjoys listening to lifehouse radio on Pandora!

Joshua S. Murray at 11:01pm March 26
I enjoy listening to…. uh…. I was going to say something super witty… but … oh, poop.

DJ Cronrath at 11:06pm March 26
Poor Joshua,
Never has he had quite the retort,
To counter the quick wit of his friend
Helplessly less evolved, can’t defend
But tries nevertheless, what a sport

Joshua S. Murray at 11:14pm March 26
There is a man I know
He is the conceited sort
DJ is so silly though
And his bus was short
Many words he did sow
As a jester in the court
When it came to reaping though
He I could always thwart.

DJ Cronrath at 11:45pm March 26
A witty comeback he did not write
Not while the sting left a bite
He waited until I would rhyme
Then retorted right this time
The two men went on and on
Fighting, jesting, saying your mom
They kept it up for years on end
Each time the messages were to offend
Never giving in, or up, they kept at it
Until Joshua’s computer died to static
You may win this time, but it wont be the last
Joshua thought this was an easy task
Little did he know, DJ was the best
I will always win, nonetheless
Wit, and sarcasm are part of my being
Born and raised, talking trash before i was seeing
I am from the most sarcastic state
Good luck in trying, I will wait

Joshua S. Murray at 12:56am March 27
He had no rhythm in his rhymes
He had no style, you see
Just yet another past his prime
Another guy from Jersey

He thought he could win a war of words
He thought that he was brilliant
He took on the king of nerds
Would he prove resilient?

The answer was no, of course
He was embattled with a poet
Who tore him apart without remorse
My level? You’re below it.
So I have one question for him now
If he can respond, some day, somehow
Would he like my next retort
as a limerick or a sonnet?

DJ Cronrath at 10:58am March 27
It’s funny how one can critique
The rhythm, rhyme and style of another
When I look back over the other
I see that I am the one who was meek.
I have yet to discuss the words you aptly wrote
The ones that you thought were profound
That you thought had some resound
While all you did was follow suit with this bloke

I’ll have you know that I was the one
Who took your poor words and returned a rhyme
A few eclipses returned with poetry of mine
Laughing on the inside at what I had done

You see, I may be an old Vet
I may be from a state up north
But my nature is finally brought forth
I will finally let my anger come out yet

You see before I had taken the kinder path
You may think ‘oh sure, yeah right’
But your in for a great big fright
You awoken a monster, on of great Wrath

You may use brains, that is not what I’m after
A joke a smile is what I want to gain
A chuckle a smirk is what I attain
The most wasted of all days is one without laughter

Joshua S. Murray at 12:42pm March 28
Bespoke words of poetic wrath
Tailored just to fit
Venom spewed back and forth
Will they ever quit?

It’s in you, I stick a fork
DJ, won’t you just surrender?
Just go away to New New York
Be with your drunk friend Bender

You criticized my first words here
I only tried to be ironic
Now with words more sincere
I’m sure they’ll be iconic

Yes, you struck first and hard
I will give you that
But I struck back with shards
The victor in our combat

You never answered my last question
What format you deserved
But in any style of expression
By me, you’ll get served.

Limerick, sonnet, ABAB
Haiku, blank, or free verse
I can write these styles for thee
Yes, my styles are diverse
So tell me, what will it be?
How shall thus I converse?

DJ, my dear, I can go for years
A master of words and wit
Yet for you, my friend, I shed years
Surrender now, and I’ll acquit

Further down, our words did fall…
Climbing down your Facebook wall…
In our battle, I’ve had a ball…
So much fun, as you I maul…
A poem battle we do drawl…
About your wall, it we sprawl…
An audience we enthrall…
And yet I think to top it all….

I have one thing left to say.
We’re still friends… ok?


3 thoughts on “Combat Poetry

  1. Benjamin says:

    Undaunted by the verbose language
    I ponder softly each line and stanza.

    But I hope to bring a mood more sanguine.
    Well done! Bravo! Indeed well-sang, men!

    I read your verse and I am enraptured!
    Entertainment galore in which I’m captured.

    You have given me freedom quite contrary
    To the lonesome walls of this library.

    But may I offer a small rebuke?
    Why hold your brothers in low repute?
    For we are all poets in our own way,
    And such useless fighting is totally gay.

    Imagine a world with words working together.
    We may gain the prestige of Forest’s Feather.
    And make for our posterity a better time
    Where we value our reason, our rhythm, our rhyme.

  2. Benjamin says:

    Oh and great Futurama reference, Josh!

  3. DJ says:

    Now is a time that is but a fleeting moment
    A time once thought to bring about rebuke
    A time thought to argue with an opponent
    But kind words are more than just a fluke

    What has been said by a friend so dear
    Was what should have been, by two others
    We forsook friendship for upright jeer
    While a friend took the role of our mothers

    We ranted, raved, ravaged acting rashly
    We slandered, spit, spited, acting sour
    All the while, we hurt, humiliated…
    Taking the worse path, left but to scour

    Friend I commend you for making amends
    Josh I ask that we could stop and be friends
    The world needs less fighting, newer trends
    Less of what has been, instead a lot more Bens

    Let’s turn this into something great
    A turn from wicked to something grand
    Lets stop shaking fists, start shaking hands
    No more of these pointless debates

    Friendship is a priceless commodity
    Of which the Good Lord has gently knit
    Where two are gathered on our knees
    Though fallen, can climb from every pit

    Looking not to the future, past or present
    Friendship continues beyond space and time
    Coming from the love that is pleasant
    Eternally prolonging this here rhyme

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